What made the Titanic sink

It was the year 1998. Then I was a flamboyant young man of 26 years old. I had the spirit and the energy to take the world on my stride. Then I was working as a sales professional for a multi national bank at New Delhi. Those days I was making a handsome money of Rs.4,500 a month. In that era this little money was enough to meet the need of a bachelor self. In sharp contrast to my present outlook, I was passionate towards life.

In those days I used to reward myself with entertainment every month. That year the Hollywood blockbuster movie Titanic was released at New Delhi. I read a lot of good reviews in the news papers about this movie. I was crazy to watch this movie in a theatre, since neither I had a TV nor a VCR at room. The day I got this paltry salary of the previous month, I invaded the premises of Chanakya theatre. In that era there was no concept of multiplexes. I used to witness a lot many young men coming to this theatre with their girl friends seating on the pillion of their bikes. I used to curse myself, while thinking how lucky those fellows were.

After standing in the queue for an hour and surviving few kicks and push up from the back I managed to insert my hand inside the hole of the ticket counter. I got a ticket in exchange of Rs.16/- and a bruise to the left hand. Profoundly I entered the glittering lobby of the theatre. In the dark I went to settle in the respective chair. After a couple of trailers the movie of the Century began. It was that James Cameron movie which grossed over $1.84 billion worldwide.

I was in a high spirit with an un-steady breathing as I wanted to watch the scene where the heroine Rose (Kate Winslet) would be laying bare body on a bed while the hero Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) will make a sketch of her. In the nick of the moment I sensed a foul smell which was worse than a rotten fish. Obviously, someone around farted in the dark. It divulged the pin pointed attention with which I was watching the scene. I unable to assess how beautiful Rose looks without clothes. By the time I recovered my consciousness the ship was shrinking in the ocean. That anonymous fart not only capsized the $ 7.5 million that was spent to build this mega ship in the year 1912, but also drain away my hard earned Rs.16/- which I had spent to buy the movie ticket. But even after a Century the world firmly believe Titanic submerged in the water due to collusion with an iceberg. No, the root cause was just a fart.

Whatever the food or drink we consume would come out of the body in one or the other form. The solid substance comes out as excreta, while the liquid portion comes out either as urin or the sweat. On the other hand the gaseous form is emitted as flatulent. Fart occur when the gas that was generated in the intestines get discharged through the anus. In India the act of farting is considered as a taboo in the civic society. If somebody farts with a noise then people around looks at him with an annoyed face. So it tempts people to fart without letting others know it. But certainly people get alert if the fart emits bad odor.

I recall my school days. Than I was a student of Class 8th of the historic Prithviraj High School of Balangir. We had our Christmas holidays. On 2nd January our school reopened. I was nervous and upset. My batch mate Tingalu Bagarti spotted me. He was the notorious boy of our class. I use to be associated with him so as at the time of need he will safeguard me from the senior students of the school. I expressed my anguish to him, that I have not done my home work of the mathematics. He said “Just fart, when you can’t solve your math”. I was clueless on whatever he said. I wanted to know what he mean, but he laughed loudly and ran away towards the classroom.

The first class of the day was maths. The teacher entered the class room and took the attendance. Now I started shivering. In life I was never a topper in the class. I used to be a mediocre student. But was always occupied the front row of seats. The teacher made the students stand one after another and asked to show the notebooks. When my turn came I was shivering. I stood, bow down my head and told, haven’t done the home work. He raised his stick and pointed its tip towards me and asked to stand on the bench holding both the ears with hands. By the time I took the elevated position as directed by my class teacher Taklu Sir, I sensed a bad smell. The teacher shouted, who this stupid and if not attended the toilet since the day school was closed.

I recalled the conversation that I had with Tingalu just before the class started. I looked towards Tingalu seating on the parallel bench. He smiled and look towards the teacher as if an obedient student. Taklu Sir scratched his bare head with the fingers and asked me to seat and went to the corridor to take a fresh breath. When the class was over I expressed my gratitude to Tingalu. He said in the morning he had taken basi pakhal with raw onion. He asked if I have done the homework of science subject. I asked, but why ? He said in the lunch hour he would go home and will equip his stomach even with a more powerful punch i.e. Basi Pakhal with muli, the radish.

Note : At places fictional names has been used to safeguard the dignity of the characters

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